Insane for Obsession
by CreativeSlash
Summary: A series of Drabbles/Song-Fics for KuroNeko-Tsuki. KaoruxOC NekowazaxOC
1. Monster

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club, or Monster by Skillet. I own Lily, and an over-active imagination.**

Lily's POV

I was a monster. Everyone knows it, yet they all tell me I'm not. Lies, they're feeding me lies. They couldn't hide the disgust they had for me off their faces. Every person wore the expression, even you wore it, as you knew the monster that was me. The problem that needed to be exterminated.

_The Secret side of me I never let you see  
>I keep it caged, But I can't control it<br>So stay away from me, the beast is ugly  
>I feel the rage and I just can't hold it<em>

You all didn't know about my past, how everyone had betrayed me. Even my parents. They said they wouldn't send me away, as long as I got better. I did get better, everything got better, but they still sent me away.

_It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls  
>It comes awake, and I can't control it<br>Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head  
>Why won't somebody come and save from this, make it end?<em>

But somehow, you guys managed to figure out everything wrong with me. You all threw looks of disgust towards me, making sure I knew your true feelings.

Trust me, I do.

You know the monster I've become.

Even now, you still have the tolerance to ask me what's wrong, as if you want to listen to a monster complain. The people I've harmed, they're the ones who should be complaining. Not the beast who hurt them. I was hurt by the beasts of my life, so, to make it even, I hurt them. Harmed, and Harming.

Even now, Kaoru, you still hate me, no matter how many times you say you don't, you hate me. And, guess what?

I don't blame you.

You have the complete right to hate me. To hurt me as I did to all of them.

_I feel it deep within', it's just beneath the skin  
>I must confess that I feel like a monster<br>I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun  
>I confess that I feel like a monster<em>

You look at me, with such a hateful look in your eye. The look in your that screams to rip me apart. To make me non-existent. To make me regret ever being alive. Already, I regret being alive, if it means making you so unhappy that I am.

_I, feel like a monster  
>I, feel like a monster<em>

You explain that the look is purely love, but I recognize the lie. You have a sparkle, but it's no love. Simply hate at what I've become. You want someone who's perfect, who can be loved by you, and not hated like me. Someone who could share your equal hate of all things, that don't belong in this world.

Things like me.

_The secret side I keep under lock and key  
>I keep it caged, but I can't control it<br>Cause if I let him out he'll tear me down, break me down  
>Why won't somebody come and save from this, make it end?<em>

Oh Kaoru, how I wish it was different! I wish I could be the perfect blonde hair, blue eyed perfect girl that you would be proud to be next to! But, alas, I am nothing but the reject. The reject that showed you what you really wanted.

_I feel it deep within', it's just beneath the skin  
>I must confess that I feel like a monster<br>I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun  
>I confess that I feel like a monster<em>

Standing in the bathroom, I find my instrument of choice.

A knife.

To truly recognize what I am.

"Embrace who you truly are."

Your words exactly.

_I feel it deep within', it's just beneath the skin  
>I must confess that I feel like a monster<br>I, feel like a monster  
>I, feel like a monster<em>

To carve the words, to make sure they last forever.

So people know what a real monster looks like.

_It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp  
>There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart<br>No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream  
>Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster<em>

A monster is often described as possibly Bigfoot, or the Boogeyman.

Look in the mirror, I found another one.

One who scares everyone around her, makes everyone wary of her next move.

_I feel it deep within', it's just beneath the skin  
>I must confess that I feel like a monster<br>I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun  
>I confess that I feel like a monster<em>

As the blood flows around, staining the countertop, I see the reflection of everyone I've hurt, all the lives I've ruined, loathing in my blood. They want my veins to run dry, to make sure I can't walk the world anymore.

_I feel it deep within', it's just beneath the skin  
>I must confess that I feel like a monster<br>I've gotta lose control, he something radical  
>I must confess that I feel like a monster<em>

I chose the word to engrave in my skin, that everyone saw me as.

A _monster._

_I, feel like a monster  
>I, feel like a monster<br>I, feel like a monster  
>I, feel like a monster<em>

Are you proud, Kaoru? That I embraced who I really am?


	2. The End

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club, or The End by My Chemical Romance. I just own Lily, and an obese hamster ._. **

Lily's POV

You're in pain, aren't you? You're in pain, since you're in the same world as me. You want out.

I understand, Kaoru. It's happened before.

_Now come one come all to this tragic affair  
>Wipe off that makeup, what's in is despair<br>So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot  
>You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not<em>

You want me out, so I can't hurt you or anyone else.

I'm sorry, I meant no harm. I just wanted you to love me like no one else did.

I'm sorry I was a burden to you. I'll make sure that changes.

_If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see  
>You can find out firsthand what it's like to be me<br>So gather 'round piggies and kiss this goodbye  
>I'd encourage your smiles I'll expect you won't cry<em>

I grasp the sharp knife in my hand, watching the moonlight illuminate the name engraved into the knife.

_Kaoru_

This knife was my vow of love to you. To show you how much you mean to me. I'm willing, to spill my blood, just for you to see how much and how long, I've loved you.

Even if my love goes unrequited, it'll always be there, in hopes that you forget your hate for me, and come to love me as well.

Although, that's a long shot, I admit.

Kaoru, my knight in shining armor, my Romeo, my Prince Charming, I will miss you, once I depart. I know, however, that you won't miss me. I know you'll find love with someone else. Someone better than me.

_Another contusion, my funeral jag  
>Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag<br>You've got front row seats to the penitence ball  
>When I grow up I want to be nothing at all!<em>

As I slide this knife, across my wrists, I find the pain a service and a blessing. I know because this is causing you delight that I'm leaving this world forever, leaving you to find your happiness on your own.

_I said yeah, yeah!  
>I said yeah, yeah!<em>

Hold on, Kaoru, I'm leaving soon. I'm leaving this world as fast as I can, just so you can never be in pain again at the sight of me. I'll make sure there's not a single chance that I could come back and continue to haunt you.

I'll make sure, I can't hurt you anymore.

_C'mon C'mon C'mon I said  
>(Save me!) Get me the hell out of here<br>(Save me!) Too young to die and my dear  
>(You can't!) If you can hear me just walk away and<br>(Take me!)_

Goodbye, Kaoru Hitachiin. I hope you're happy now.


	3. Ghost of You

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club, or Ghost of You By My Chemical Romance. I own Lily, and an over-sized England soccer shirt~**

Kaoru's POV

She's dead. Gone. Out.

And it's all my fault.

She died, and it was all because of me.

If I had bothered to get to know her better, and figure out why she acted the way she did, to figure out how she worked.

She wouldn't be dead.

_I never  
>Said I'd lie in wait forever<br>If I died  
>We'd be together<em>

None of us knew about her insanity. She never told us. All she said was that her past wasn't a good one. None of us bothered to dig deeper about that. We all just left it that she didn't want to talk about it. There, was a fatal mistake.

_I can't always just forget her  
>But she could try<em>

So deep in thought, I didn't feel the couch shift as another person sat beside me. I tilted my head, just to see it was Hikaru.

"Hey!" He yelled, grinning ear to ear. I nodded in acknowledgment.

He obviously didn't pick up on my down mood, as he continued in a joyful matter.

"So did you hear about that girl in homeroom committing suicide?" He asked.

I snapped my head up, nodding with a grim look on my face. Hikaru, again, failed to pick up on my mood, and continued on.

"Oh, what was her name? Um...Lauren? No, that's not it. Uh, Louise? No. Oh! Maybe it wa-" I cut him off.

"Lily."

He grinned even wider. "Yeah! That's it! Anyway, she slit her wrists yesterday. They found her in the bathroom, dead. I wonder why she did that. I mean, she was a freak and all, but still."

I whipped around fast, glaring my twin straight in the eye.

"Don't you _ever _call her that again, agreed?" I growled out, fisting the color of his uniform in my hand.

He looked terribly frightened for a second and nodded furiously before I let him go, stalking away.

_At the end of the world  
>Or the last thing I see<br>You are never coming home, never coming home  
>Could I? Should I?<em>

I didn't want to stay at school, so I walked around town for a few hours, trying to calm my thoughts to a relatively normal pace. Finally, I arrived at a park on the far side of town. I sighed, remembering all the childhood memories here. My thoughts shifted back over to Lily.

Why did you never tell me about your mental issues, Lily? I would have helped you through them. I would have paid for them!

_And all the things that you never ever told me  
>And all the smiles that are ever ever<em>

I sighed, putting my head in my hands. How could you do this? What made you think I didn't care? You obviously saw the love in my eyes! I mean, I tried to make it clear that I loved you. But, then again, you did say you didn't see things the same way everyone else did. Maybe you mistook it for something else? Hate? Distaste? Fear?

_Ever get the feeling that you're never all alone?  
>And I remember now<br>At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies  
>She dies<em>

If only we could have seen what was wrong with you, before it escalated too far. You wanted to be a doctor. One who could help everyone with everything. Not let anyone die. Unless you count yourself.

_At the end of the world  
>Or the last thing I see<br>You are never coming home, never coming home  
>Could I? Should I?<em>

Oh, Lily, if only everyone saw you the way I saw you. Not at the insanity, but how caring and loving you were. You could've had the right person to give it to, who would return it with equal passion. But, alas, things not always work out.

_And all the things that you never ever told me  
>And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me<br>Never coming home, never coming home  
>Could I? Should I?<em>

You made wounds on me, Lily, that'll never heal, you took yourself away from me, to help me, when it really just damaged me further. Creating scars that'll last forever.

_And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
>For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me<em>

I probably deserved this, you know. All my life, I've treated people like they waited on me, treating them no more as if they were a mere piece of tissue, to use and throw out. And now, karma caught up to me.

Karma's a bitch, isn't it?

Finally, something lovely came into my life, and right when I almost had you. You got ripped away.

_If I fall  
>If I fall<br>(Down)_

I fell for you, Lily. Fell far too hard, too fast than I ever had. You made me weak in the knees, you made my thoughts swirl, you made my heart beat faster.

All I did for you, was give you the need to kill yourself.

_At the end of the world  
>Or the last thing I see<br>You are never coming home, never coming home  
>Could I? Should I?<em>

Lily, I'm sorry for all I put you through. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. I'm sorry you couldn't trust me to confide in.

_And all the things that you never ever told me  
>And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me<br>Never coming home, never coming home  
>Could I? Should I?<em>

But most of all, I'm sorry I couldn't catch you, when you fell.

_And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
>For all the ghosts that are never gonna<em>

Goodbye, Lily. Hope your next life, was better than this one.


	4. Taking Over Me

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club, or Taking Over Me by Evanescence. I own Tsuki, and a paranoid cat that looks like a cow.**

Tsuki's POV

Honestly, I always wondered why he hid his true emotions, or behind that shadow, truth be told. It wasn't until he recently explained it to me, but he hid so his emotions couldn't get out, where anyone could get a hold of them, so they'd use them against him. He said it was a big risk of his, to let his emotions out to me, but he trusted me.

And I trusted him. I loved him. but eventually, he would leave me. Like all the others.

_You don't remember me but I remember you  
>I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you<em>

He would leave me, but I was going to make sure, even if he does leave me, I'll make sure a part of me always stays with him. To show him my love.

_But who can decide what they dream and dream I do_

_I believe in you  
>I'll give up everything just to find you<br>I have to be with you to live, to breathe  
>You're taking over me<em>

I know he would be described as loyal and loving, but I see right through his facade. He'll leave. He'll break my heart. He's not afraid to. Even as this fact is present, He's still bewitched my soul. He's still the one I want to be with.

_Have you forgotten all I know and all we had  
>You saw me mourning my love for you and touched my hand<em>

_I knew you loved me then_

With his beautiful blonde hair, he's a prince in the shadows. A bright soul trapped in the darkness. My prince Charming locked away in a far away tower.

_I believe in you  
>I'll give up everything just to find you<br>I have to be with you to live, to breathe  
>You're taking over me<em>

He loves me, I know it. He's just afraid that I'll hurt him, and I won't love him. Such a silly boy. He should know I would never hurt him.

Everywhere I look, I see his face. I see him on every man, every woman, every child. His gorgeous face is everywhere. That's when I realized I loved him, and I wanted him. He wants me too, I can tell by the look in his eye.

_I look in the mirror and see your face  
>If I look deep enough<br>So many things inside that  
>Just like you are taking over<em>

I believe our love with flourish, and we'll be happily ever after. Any boy who flirts with me, he'll destroy and lock away. Any girl who flirts with him, will never be heard from or seen from again.

_He. Is. Mine._

_I. Am. His. _

We will take each other, and we will be perfect. No kinks or flaws in the relationship, Nothing. We'll be happy, forever.

_I believe in you  
>I'll give up everything just to find you<br>I have to be with you to live, to breathe  
>You're taking over me<em>

Even now, he occupies all my thoughts, he consumes every desire I've ever had, he makes me lightheaded when the fantasies come flashing forward. I just know he's thinking the exact same thoughts about me.

_I believe in you  
>(I believe in you)<br>I'll give up everything just to find you  
>I have to be with you to live, to breathe<br>You're taking over me  
>(Taking over me)<em>

You've bewitched me, Nekowaza. You've made me a different person. You've changed me. You've loved me and I love you. You've taken over my whole body, and I want you to take me. Take me and I'll take you.

_You're taking over me  
>(Taking over me)<br>Taking over me_

So, Nekowaza, I'll be waiting. Waiting for you to come to me, as you realize your love for me. I'm right here, never leaving.


	5. I Don't Love You

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club, or I Don't Love You By My Chemical Romance. I own Tsuki, and a picture of the Eiffel Tower on my wall~**

Nekowaza's POV

She's been acting, oh, how do I say it, _different, _lately. Maybe a tad obsessive. I'm sorry, not a tad. More like, extreme OCD Obsessive. She acts like I'm going just get up and leave and never look back.

She's _changing._

Fast.

_Well when you go  
>Don't ever think I'll make you try and stay<br>And maybe when you get back  
>I'll be off to find another way<em>

She has the look in her eye, where her pupils are slightly dilated, eyes wide open, staring you down, making sure you never leave her sight.

_After all this time that you still owe  
>You're still a good-for-nothing I don't know<br>So take your gloves and get out  
>Better get out while you can<em>

It's true, I do like her. I felt she was trustworthy, cute, smart, funny. I told her how I couldn't tell my secrets to anyone, how she was someone I could truly trust. I thought she understood that I trusted her, and wouldn't let her go.

Well, obviously she didn't get that message.

Now, that she's turned into this, obsessive freak who wouldn't let me go, I honestly felt my feelings burn to an ember.

_When you go would you even turn to say  
>"I don't love you like I loved you yesterday"?<br>_

Wherever I go, she follows. Watching my every move, my every word, my every blink. I guess bolting away isn't a choice. If my foot so much as twitches, she'll notice and ask where I would go. I couldn't _escape._

_Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading  
>So sick and tired of all the needless beating<br>But baby when they knock you down and out  
>It's where you oughta stay<em>

I don't know how to break it to her, that I didn't like her that way anymore. Was she a crier? Was she someone who got angry at a break up? Would she go completely crazy?

_Well after all the blood you still owe  
>Another dollar's just another blow<br>So fix your eyes and get up  
>Better get up while you can, whoa whoa<em>

It just feels like I'm..._trapped _if I stay with her. I mean, I couldn't even talk to another girl without being interrogated on what I felt for the girl and if I was going to leave her. Geez, we're not even together!

_When you go would you even turn to say  
>"I don't love you like I loved you yesterday"?<br>Well come on, come on!_

All I can do at the moment, is retreat to my dark corner to sought out the only freedom I'll have for the time's being. Hopefully, she'll stay out longer. Maybe she'll lose interest in me so I won't have to break it to her.

_When you go would you even turn to say  
>"I don't love you like I loved you yesterday"?<em>

Oh, Tsuki, why did you have to become an obsessive freak? Isn't it bad enough to have one freak in a relationship?

_I don't love you like I loved you yesterday  
>I don't love you like I loved you yesterday<em>


	6. Last Time

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club, or Last Time By Secondhand Serenade. I own Tsuki, and a pair of glaring, stupid neighbors. -.-"**

Tsuki's POV

When Nekowaza asked me to meet him at his house later tonight, I knew what was coming. He was going to break it off. _I knew it._

_I'm stuck with writing songs  
>Just too forget<br>What they really were about  
>And these words are bringing me so deeply insane<br>That I don't think I can dig my way out_

I drove over there at about eight, preparing to make him regret leaving me.

Just like the others.

All the others who broke it off for me being 'too clingy'.

_I couldn't breathe through it  
>Like I need too and the words don't mean a thing<em>

I showed up at his mansion, standing at the grand doorway, and rang the doorbell. A loud chime echoed out, able to wake the dead it seemed. Finally, after a few minutes, Nekowaza showed up, giving me a small smile. I smirked, not being able to do much more while my heart's breaking on the inside. He ushered me inside, leading me to a large sitting room. I sat in one of the plush black chairs, getting comfortable.

Nekowaza sat opposite of me, looking quite awkward.

"So, listen, Tsuki," He started, not looking me in the eye. I tilted my head, letting him know I was listening.

"I think...I think we should break it off..."

There. There were the words I had heard countless times, and I had heard them again.

_So I'll sing this song to you  
>For the last time<br>And my heart is torn in two  
>Thinking of days spent without you<br>And there is nothing left to prove_

I felt the tears start to come forward, but pushed them back. I had to be strong. I stiffened in my chair, sitting straight.

"Why is that, Nekowaza?" I asked curtly.

He shifted in his seat, away from me.

"Well, I just think, well, that you're a tad clingy..." He trailed off.

_I'm counting all the things I could have done  
>To make you see<br>That I wanted us to be when I go to sleep and  
>dream of<br>I want you to know that I'd die for you  
>I'd die for you<em>

To his surprise, I smiled, despite what my insides were screaming at me to do. "It's okay, Nekowaza. I understand. We just weren't right for each other. We'll find other people, right?"

He nodded and smiled, relieved I hadn't started crying.

I reached inside my bag, taking out a water bottle. I held it out for him.

"Here, my mom made some homemade tea for you," I told him, smiling gently.

He nodded his thanks, and started drinking it.

_I couldn't breathe through it  
>Like I need to and the words don't mean a thing<em>

_So I'll sing this song to you_

_For the last time  
>And my heart is torn in two<br>Thinking of days spent without you  
>And there's nothing left to prove<em>

I saw his eyes start to droop close, and I smiled in satisfaction.

"Ah, I'm sorry Tsuki, but I'm feeling quite tired..." He trailed off, falling asleep.

I smirked, and pulled him to the ground. I yanked up his shirt, revealing his perfectly carved stomach. I marveled at the perfect, sculpture like muscles. Finally, I pulled out my knife. The light above gleamed on the blade, making it shine. I placed the tip of the blade on the top of his chest, breaking the skin, before shoving it in half way.

_And if you are alone  
>Make sure you're not lonely<br>'Cause if you are, I blame myself  
>For never being home<br>I know I'm not the only one  
>Who will treat you like they should<br>Like you deserve_

I perfectly carved my first initial into his chest, making sure it would stay there as long as he's intact. I stood back, admiring the bloody T. I smirked, proud of how well the plan worked. He'll never forget me now.

_I'm stuck with writing songs  
>Just to forget<em>

I walked out of there, feeling that sick feeling of guilt, but that being overshadowed by the pride of how I managed to get revenge for another heartbreak. Finally, we're considered equals. At least in my book.

_So I'll sing this song to you  
>For the last time<br>And my heart is torn in two  
>Thinking of days spent without you<br>And there is nothing left to prove  
>(there is nothing, there is nothing)<br>There is nothing left to prove_


End file.
